James Broom
by BringTheNight
Summary: A short one-shot in which Sirius tries to understand James feelings for Lily. I do not own Harry Potter so yeah....


He just didn't understand the fascination. Sure she was pretty, but her snotty attitude was un-appealing. She was just so damn bossy! And there was something about her need to control everything that he thought to be-and this was something that he dared NEVER to tell James- manly.

He had the unfortunate pleasure of being her partner once for potions. At first, Sirius thought nothing much of it. In fact, he might have actually been a little pleased with the partnering. Potions class was like ingesting pollyjuice potion. He could get through it, but not with out some struggling.... manly gagging. Then again, he had quite a few classes with Snape-potions included- and he gagged every time he saw his greasy dome. So it might have just been him.

But anyway, Evens was good at the subject. It was sure to be easy. He would try, but fail miserably. And if he knew Lily like he thought he did, she would likely insult his intelligence and make a rude comment about how he was too absorbed with himself to care about anything else. Then she would take over completely while mumbling under her breath about him.

But she didn't.... she just sat there and stared at him with one red eyebrow raised slightly higher then the other, lips pursed, and her chin resting on her fist while her elbow was propped up on the table. While he was fumbling with the knife, not quite sure how he should slice the ingredient, he paused and looked at her for help. Giving her his biggest, most vulnerable-looking puppy dog face he had ever dished out, but she was having none of it.

Dammit

After that, she did her part, but whenever it came around to his, she was so demanding! And she wasn't even discreet about it either. Numerous heads of there fellow classmates turned towards them many more then a few times, with varied expressions; some amused, some sympathetic (weather it was towards him or Lily, he didn't know) and some skeptic. If Lily Evens was unhappy, then eventually everyone was unhappy. She was a dynamite with an extremely short wick, and when she blew up, they all suffered.

Sirius looked towards his friends. Remus was red-faced from laughing so hard, Peter was about to pee his pants from fright, and James… well, James was glaring daggers at Sirius. He had actually been trying to set Sirius' soul on fire since the beginning of class when it was announced that Lily was to be his partner. Then Sirius had decided to rub it in James face till Remus had smacked him with his textbook.

By the end of class, Sirius had seriously (of course) considered going to the hospital wing for something to sooth his massive headache he had acquired while he tried to endure the endless nagging, and ranting that came with potions that day.

Then suddenly, all of Sirius' thought on the abrasive redhead came to an immediate halt once he reached the Great Hall. Everyone knew that once Sirius Black came in any form of contact with food when he was hungry, nothing else existed. Like when people describe their first kiss with their one true love. Everything and everyone just disappears.

He quickly made his way to his seat at the Gryffindor table, beside Remus, and across from James. He looked around, trying to decide what to shove into his mouth first.

"Your late, "James had stated with his hands folded on top of the table and a disapproving look on his face.

"… I apologize?"

Reamus turned towards him looking baffled. "You're never late for breakfast."

Sirius paused, his toast half way to his mouth. "Well I over slept," he said, starting to bring his crumby goodness back to his mouth.

"Why?"

He paused again. The question had come from Peter who was sitting next to James. Sirius exhaled frustratingly out his nose.

"James and his never ending gob" After he answered quickly, then immediately brought the toast to his mouth and bit it furiously. He really wanted to get it to its rightful destination, which was his stomach, before another interruption.

"What are you talking about? I went to bed-"

"After an hour long speech about Lily, and how this was going to be the year that she gave in and you would finally be 'the water to her roots'," Remus finished, cutting James off and nodding in agreement.

James really was a horn dog.

"But still," the sandy hared boy continued, turning back toward Sirius, "it was fairly early by the time his over dramatic declaration had simmered down. Not late enough for you to be over sleeping."

Sirius turned to Remus as well, while piling eggs onto his plate. "I had charms homework that I couldn't finish while James was running his mouth."

They all silently 'oohed' in realization. Charms was another one of those subjects that he struggled with. His friends had called him academically bipolar because he did amazing in some classes, and just horrible in others. Sirius just considered another one of his many interesting traits, also concluding that his friends were just jealous of his fascinatingness. They were all just good (or in Peter's case bad) all around. Nothing original about that at all.

Just then, the four 6th year boys heard a loud, disapproving scoff and turned their heads down the table. James reason for living (so he says) and Sirius' reason for lack of sleep and embarrassingly untamed hair was in a very animated conversation with one of the 5th years. Most likely about something boring and educational. Did she ever talk about anything else? Besides her distast for the four-well three, since Remus wasn't as 'barbaric'- mischief makers.

No, she did not.

He looked over at the red head. Her hair was flying everywhere, whipping her neighbors in the face as she shook her head violently, her eyes darkend with anger and repulsiveness. She really must have been disgusted with whatever the younger student had said. Her mouth was moving fast, and her voice was loud, but Sirius couldn't make out any of what she was saying. It all just sounded like gibberish.

He smirked and looked at James, about to make a comment about how James had better learn to pick up his dirty socks after he took them off if he ever intended to marry the girl. If she got this vigorous of something that was most likely a misunderstanding (cause that what they always were) then he could only imagine how she would react to his spectacled friends hygiene… or lack of.

His smirk fell, though, when he saw the look on said friends face. Adoration is what he saw in James eyes, and he that even if he tried speaking to him, it would be no use. It was like trying to seduce McGonagall. Same result.

He heard Remus chuckle beside him so he whipped his head towards the amused prefect with raised eyebrows, and saw that he also noticed the other boys expression. Remus just looked at him, shrugged, then turned away to begin a conversation with Peter. Sirius waited a few seconds before turning his attention back to his temporarily neglected plate.

_Ah well, _he thought. _Whatever got James broom off the ground._


End file.
